Are you going to kill us?

I can't even begin to tell you how funny this story is.

Little background, I moved to a place that has a lake right across the road from my house. I go walking there everyday with my newly adopted dog Padawan. He's insane about chasing stick that I've thrown in the water.

I decided that in order to collect some firewood for our ever coldening house I should take my chainsaw over and chop some wood. Well I felled a few trees and ran out of gas, so I started walking back on the path towards the parking lot.

When I was just about to come out of the wooded part I noticed 5 kids walking towards me, I was sweaty, wet, dirty and carrying a smoking chainsaw. They all gave me this look like OMG, he just killed someone.

I went along with their terrified glances, and acted as if I had just commited some hanious crime using my chainsaw. I also had a fairly large buck knife which has red paint on it that looks like blood, in it's sheath on my back. So when they turned around and looked at me all they could see was a bloody knife, a smoking chainsaw and an apparently crazed man who looked very guilty.

I was almost jumping up and down with happiness at the thought of these kids being so obviously scared of me.

I went and put the chainsaw in the truck and proceeded to walk back into the woods. Not far into the wood I found all 5 of them sitting around some standing, there was a pop can with a smoldering piece of marijuana on it semi-hidden behind the kids back... I knew right away, I also saw that some of them had already toked a bit, and being so young they were getting more paranoid by the minute.

I told them their can design was terrible and I grabbed it, fixed it into a proper pipe using my buck knife. RIGHT when I pulled my knife out, there was a kid, a bit younger than 13 probably and he looked at me and said, serious as a heart attack, he looked at my knife and goes "are you going to kill us now?" I waited took a puff off the can, handed the can to the kid who had asked me. I didn't reply... then he asked voice shaking, what was the chainsaw for?

I paused for effect then I told them what was up, how I was chopping firewood and that they had nothing to worry about. I told them that I was not going to kill them, the kid who asked me pulled out his bag and offered me his weed as if it were in exchange for letting them all live. I didn't take it, I just laughed and started walking away.

"you got lucky this time, now don't be walking around these woods by yourself, it's not safe..."

is the last thing I said as I laughed long and menacingly and disappeared into the thick of the forest.

Best story ever, if I could only convey the looks on these kids faces... Shear terror, surprise, suspicion, and a desire for mommy. Such good times.