The past month and a couple of weeks. I've noticed that my temper has started to show up more in this |See reference to time period|. Most of the people I know in fact pretty much everyone I know has never really see me get too mad about anything. I'm not one to start confrontations and I'm certainly not one to shout out in anger at anyone. Sometimes if someone is driving stupid I'll yell. However I'm very mild mannered sure I get irritated and annoyed and agitated, just like everyone else. I'm more prone to talk about it to myself and just relax.
Well I was thinking about it today, just now in fact and I was realizing something else. Animals: I get most irritated with animals. Then just now as I'm writing this I admit that I get irritated with a large number of people quite often, and I shrug it off because I don't want to be rude or hurtful towards the people. I've starteed to yell at dogs though. I cuss and call them names, and last week I even kicked my roomates dog. He wimpered, gave a little cry. I didn't hurt him really it was more of a spanking, and it's happened several times mostly with my smacking his ass with a stick in the hopes he'll listen to me. He yelps, not so much out of pain but out of surprise. Still I was and am still looking for a way to calm my temper down and find a healthy outlet for it.
I am not too fond of this behavior. I love animals, and they love me. Yet I've started to take my anger out on this incredibly stupid and irritating and frustrating, annoying, gets under my skin, drives me up the wall, stupid, dumb, retarded, infuriating, aggravating, bothersome, exasperating, mindless, tiresome,moronic, troublesome, naive BAIN OF MY EXISTANCE DOG.
I then just realized just now as he was following me around the house, walking right in front of me so I trip, and just sitting there staring at me panting loudly and whining. I realized that I was being trained, molded, sculpted and taught how to be patient, kind and accepting. This is the exciting part! I realized that if I was being tried and tested so much and so often I must be, being prepared for something. God is preparing me for something. When I realize that's happening I get so excited I can't even see straight. I start praying and asking him to reveal to me what it is! Everything happens for a reason and accidents and coincidence just don't happen randomly. I think it's all there to serve a purpose.
Sure the dog is sitting behind me whining about God knows what right now, but when I think about it as Clarissa Worely put it so elegantly "People and things, in your life that test you, try your patience, and force you to grow are 'Dumbells'. As in weights, they are things that you must try and pray about and grow strong by having to deal with them. Working your character, emotional, and spiritual muscles and letting them grow.
It doesn't take all the irritation away, but it sure helps me smile knowing that I'm being polished so I can shine somewhere else.
I feel much better getting that all out of my head.
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