Thumbs....

So I've been really really trying to explain to my dogs the importance of using a sanitary piece of paper on their rear ends, as opposed to their tongues. So far I've ran into a few snags. A) My dogs don't speak english. B) My dogs don't have thumbs. Meaning I would have to teach them english, then graft thumbs onto their paws... Forget it, use your tongue dogs I give up